January Movie Round-Up!!

Here's a fun post for all you imaginary readers out there! I am planning on doing a monthly or bi-monthly breakdown/round-up/turnabout of the movies that I have watched. I'll list them and give my feelings about them, since I know people are so interested. So here we go!!

1. Avatar (2009) - James Cameron
Of all the movies to start with! In reality, this was the first movie I watched in the new year. And it is fitting, as this movie is ushering in a new frontier of movie making. To say that this movie is a visual spectacle is an understatement. I have not seen another film that is more visually impressive than this one. That said, I wasn't totally blown away by the film. It was an average plot, to say the least, that has been done countless times before. As amazing as it looked, I still was distracted by the dialogue and acting (particularly from the cliche-riddled Stephen Lang and Michelle Rodriguez). What fascinates me the most about the film is the rabid fan base that is completely amazed by it. I will never disagree that this film is not important or awesome to look at. But I compare it to the Lumieres' film Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat. When it was first publicly shown in the late 1890s, people went insane and actually ran out of the theater because they were afraid of this train that was going to run them over. It was the biggest sensation of the entire year, perhaps the entire decade. Yet, when we look back on the clip now, it's still just a fucking train pulling into a station. I am not trying to belittle the significance of Avatar, because I do believe that it is an important film. However, that's what I think Avatar is: people are going ballistic now because they've never seen anything like it, but in 50 years we'll look back and it will be rather boring.

2. The Big Heat (1953) - Fritz Lang
This is an American film-noir from the famous German director, who ironically directed one of the timelss science fiction classics in Metropolis. This has got to be one of the premier noir films and is definitely a favorite of mine from the genre. The story follows a family-man detective Dave Bannion who bumps heads with the crime underground. The underground takes action against Bannion and accidentally kill his wife. Bannion then goes rogue to get his revenge on the killers and expose the corruption in his own system. Glen Ford plays Bannion and turns in a fantastic performance. There is also a phenomenal turn by Lee Marvin (one of my favorites) who plays one of the crime bosses. The roots for a lot of revenge films from the 70s can be found here. There is also a surprising amount of violence in here, particularly towards women. None of it is particularly graphic, but I still found it quite disturbing. Fritz Lang proves that he can master any genre with this great flick.

3. Shock Corridor (1963) - Samuel Fuller
I watched a documentary about filmmaker Samuel Fuller called The Typewriter, The Rifle, and the Movie Camera (1996) before I actually watched any of his films. The doc 100% convinced me that I had to see his films, because Sam Fuller was fucking CRAZY. The guy was the epitome of the term "old-timer." So the subject matter of this film is strangely apropo for such a bizarre filmmaker. The story revolves around newspaper writer Johnny Barrett who develops an elaborate plan to get committed to a mental institution in order to crack open a strange murder case. He badly wants to win The Pulitzer Prize and believes this plan will get it for him. As Barrett gets closer and closer to the truth of the murder, he starts to question his own sanity. This is one of the best depictions of mental illness ever put on film. There is one character in particular, a black patient named Trent who believes he is a KKK member, who is rather disturbing. If you are interested in movies about mental illness, you have to see this one.

4. Man Hunt (1941) - Fritz Lang
Another masterful Lang film. In the opening scene, a British soldier on a hunting vacation in Germany happens upon Hitler's chateau and has him in the sight of his gun. The viewer knows the shot won't happen, but just seeing Hitler in the crosshairs is exhilerating. From that point on, the film is constantly tense and suspenseful. Walter Pidgeon turns in an amazing performance as Captain Thorndike who stays classy and poised while constantly being chased by a very persistent Nazi. Most interesting thing about the film is Lang, a native German, made it on the cusp of WWII. And the film is VERY anti-Nazi, almost like Lang was making his statement about his countrymen. Historically it is a very interesting film and one that holds up amazingly well 70 years after the fact.

5. Hot Fuzz (2007) - Edgar Wright
This is a re-watch for me and I still love it just as much as the first time I saw it. This comes from the group of guys (Wright, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost) who brought us the brilliant BBC comedy Spaced and the "zombedy" Shaun of the Dead, which is easily in my top ten favorite films of the past decade. Hot Fuzz is not quite as good as Shaun for me, but goddamn it is awesome. This is a great combination of comedy and action. The end of the film really stands out as a fantastic action sequence, very stylized and full of homage to the serious, cheesy action films of the late 80s/early 90s. Like Shaun of the Dead, you can tell how much Wright and Co. really enjoy and strangely respect the source material. The combination of this and their spot-on comedic timing makes this an awesome movie.

6. Wall-E (2008) - Andrew Stanton
Cute is the best word to describe this film. Wall-E is a cute little character. The robot that he falls in love with is also cute. All the other little robots in the spaceship are cute too. I generally don't like cute movies, but every once in a while I will make an exception. This is one of those exceptions. This movie of course does not lack on the outstanding animation that has become the calling card of Pixar studios. Yet this film is much deeper than the general fluff kiddie-stuff that most animated films are full of these days. Human excess, environmental conservation and pollution, technological dependency are all big themes in this film and they are pulled off without being overly pretentious or "finger-wagging." It turns out when you mix strong social commentary with robots that are cute as a button, you can really knock it out of the park!

7. Planet of the Apes (1968) - Franklin J. Schaffner
This is another re-watch for me, but felt like a completely new film. I originally saw this film almost twenty years ago and it had been all but erased from my memory. Science fiction is probably my favorite genre of film for two reasons. First, I love robots and spaceships (but who doesn't really?!?! Am I right folks!?). It's the genre that fulfills all of my nerd dreams and fantasies. Second, most of the best science fiction is speculative, creating amazing worlds that offer some glimpse into what may come for humanity, both good and bad. It excitedly and cautiously looks forward to what may come. This second aspect is what thrills me the most. Planet of the Apes combines all of this into a fantastical cinematic angel food cake covered in glorious, speculative icing. Humans devolving into apes? Apes with reign over man? Madness! This is a science fiction essential.

8. Lord of the Flies (1963) - Peter Brook
I unfortunately always associate this movie with school, dirty, filthy school! It seems that most films that I had to watch in high school I unduly consider terrible. So I thought I would give this one another shot, and I am kind of glad I did. When you are dealing with a whole gaggle of kids like this, you can't really expect a whole lot of good acting. However, the film really captures what was so compelling about the book: how these kids just go bat-shit crazy and start murdering each other. The high points of the film really stand out and help overshadow some of the annoying little kid "acting" and some strange editing and continuity things. Also, I want to shove the conch up Piggy's stupid ass. The actor who played Piggy may have unwittingly turned in one of the most accurate portrayals of a literary character in any movie.

9. Death Wish (1974) - Michael Winner
I spend a lot of my time scouring the movie landscape for the best/biggest bad-ass in all of cinema. There are a lot of potential candidates out there and I would put Charles Bronson's character from this movie close to the top. Bronson is the kind of guy who I am absolutely convinced was a 100% totally awesome dude in real life who snatched birds of prey out of the sky with his bare hands and seduced thousands of women. He really fits into the bad-ass mold perfectly. On the surface, Death Wish is a simple revenge film. Bronson's character, Paul Kersey, experiences a terrible tragedy when his wife and daughter are assaulted by a gang of street-toughs (one of them being a young Jeff Goldblum). The normally mild-mannered Kersey breaks out of his shell to seek vengeance on the underground crime world. The film paints a bleak portrait of city crime and the ineffectualness of the police. We root for Kersey, who has now extended beyond simple revenge and has become a night vigilante, distributing his own brand of justice to the crum-bums and hoodlums who prowl the streets. Bronson pulls it off so well that I would not be surprised to find out he actually was a vigilante in real life. If you like this one, you should also check out The Mechanic, starring Bronson and Jan-Michael Vincent.

10. Police Story (1985) - Jackie Chan
A lot of people in the US, including myself, are only familiar with Chan's American movie career, which ranges from anywhere from mediocre (Rumble in the Bronx) to atrocious (Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon, and so on). But before being imported to the US market, Chan was wildly successful in China with a slew of over-the-top action films. Police Story is the first of these films I have seen and I found it entertaining. It still contains a lot of the cheesy, bad acting that plagues some of Chan's US films. But the action in this film is top-notch. There is no denying that Chan is a talented and entertaining performer. The final ten or fifteen minutes of this film is so full of great martial arts action, you're liable to karate-chop your television in half with excitement! I just wish he they had cut back on the silly dialogue that fills the spaces between the action. The parts where Chan is just chatting it up can get boring very quickly and make you yearn for the next punch to be thrown. But when the fists finally start flying again, you are in for a treat.

11. Rambo (2008) - Sylvester Stallone
Holy. Fucking. Shit! I cannot believe I have not seen this movie until now. I should have known after seeing the other films in the series that Sly would not disappoint. "He is old and washed up!" I said to myself. "There's no way he can produce a top-notch action flick!" Well, I was right about the old part. But good God, he is far from washed up! This has, hands-down, the most ridiculous action sequences I have ever seen in any movie. EVER. Do yourself a favor and go on Youtube and find the video that has a kill count for this film. It will blow your mind to little tiny bits! The absolute best part about this movie is that the script and acting is absolutely atrocious. GOD I LOVE IT! It's like putting cheddar cheese on a golden plate of caviar, mixing it up in a blender, and gulping it down in one cheesy, caviar-y, bullet-y gulp. At the end of this movie, I had so much adrenaline coursing through my body that I ran out into the cold night air and hunted down a ten-point buck by scent ALONE, broke it's neck with my bare hands, and drank its blood while baying at the moon. THIS MOVIE WILL TURN YOU INTO A MANLY, BLOODTHIRSTY, WEREWOLF! Watch it now and grow some hair on your chest.

So that is all for January (Only 11 movies, I know!!). Check back for the post for February which will be coming very soon.

2009 Movie Round-up Extravaganza!!

Greetings, 2010! A new year, a new DECADE even, and still no flying cars. What a major disappointment, the world! I'll forgive you this time, but come 2020, I better be soaring through the air, giving birds the finger!

Way back in July, I did the Mid-year Movie Breakdown where I gave a short breakdown of all the movies I had watched up until that point. What we all learned from this is that I am a total loser with too much time on my hands. Well, I am happy to inform you that that did not change! I am still the same, lovable loser who is afraid to leave his bedroom. So now, my obsessive compulsive brain brings you the entire list of 2009, this time with double the insane categorization!! Here we go!!

The list consists of 254 titles.
The month in which I watched the most movies was January with an incredible 42 titles.
The month in which I watched the least movies was November with a paltry 7 titles. Yes, quite an embarrassment.

Breakdown by decade:
1900-1909: ZERO
1910-1919: ZERO
1920-1929: 6
1930-1939: 7
1940-1949: 19
1950-1959: 27
1960-1969: 51
1970-1979: 58
1980-1989: 30
1990-1999: 14
2000-2009: 42

The director who I watched the most was Akira Kurosawa, with 9 titles. Other notable numbers are Ingmar Bergman (5), Stanley Kubrick (5), Alfred Hitchcock (5), Andrei Tarkovsky (3), Billy Wilder (3), David Lynch (3), Howard Hawks (3), Jack Arnold (3), Jack Hill (3), Jacques Tourneur (3), John Carpenter (3), Roger Corman (3), Sam Peckinpah (3), Terence Fisher (3), Teruo Ishii (3), Werner Herzog (3), and Woody Allen (3).

Country Breakdown:
United States: 139 (over half)
Japan: 31
United Kingdom: 21
Italy: 14
France: 11
Germany: 10
Sweden: 6
Hong Kong: 4
Russia/USSR: 4
Spain: 4
Canada: 3
South Korea: 2
Czechoslovakia: 1
Denmark: 1
Mexico: 1
Netherlands: 1
New Zealand: 1

Genre breakdown:
Horror: 85
Drama: 61
Action/Adventure/War: 46
Science Fiction: 27
Comedy: 22
Western: 7
Documentary: 5
Musical: 1

Last time, Toshiro Mifune was the most frequent actor on the list with 5 appearances. However, he has been dethroned!! By who, you ask? The great, underrated VINCENT PRICE with 6 appearances! Congratulations, Vinnie! Let's see what you've won! NOTHING! because you're dead.

The weirdest movie I saw remains Valerie and Her Week of Wonders.

The worst movie that I saw is a tie between the Friday the 13th remake and Newsies (Both of which I saw in the theaters!)

The most suprising film I saw was The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. I can't praise this film enough. Not only is it possibly the best documentary I've ever seen, it was one of the most compelling and interesting movies I've seen from this past decade.

The most disturbing film I saw is another documentary, Jesus Camp. If you want a terrifying glimpse into what could be in store for the next generation of Americans, watch this film. I am reminded of a quote from the book 1984: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." This movie is a boot to the pie hole.

Only 34 of the films were repeat viewings from before. I only watched one movie two times in the past year: Trick 'r Treat, a great new Halloween movie that was released on DVD this year.

There we go. Just imagine all the things I could have accomplished instead of wasting time compiling all this information and watching all these films. I'd be the freaking president of something. But movies are my weakness and I love watching them and somehow, this does not seem like a waste of time to me. So here's to a new year, and doubling the length of this list! GO TEAM!!!!!!



So where's the whole list you ask? Well, here it comes!!

8 1/2

10th Victim

12 Monkeys

2001: A Space Odyssey

A Bout de Souffle

Abominable Dr. Phibes

Ace in the Hole

Aguierre: The Wrath of God

Alphaville

Amadeus

Amelie

Andrei Rublev

Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper

Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The

Assault on Precinct 13

Battle Royale

Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

Beyond the Darkness

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

Big Sleep, The

Black Book

Black Sunday

Blind Woman's Curse

Blindman

Blob, The

Blood on Satan's Claw

Body Snatcher, The

Bonnie and Clyde

Bridge on the River Kwai, The

Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia

Bringing Up Baby

C.H.U.D.

Casablanca

Cat and the Canary, The

Cat People

Changeling, The

Chasing Amy

Children of Men

City of Lost Children

Class of 1984

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Coffy

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Curse of the Cat People

Curse of the Werewolf, The

D.O.A.

Dark City

Das Boot

Dead and Buried

Dead of Night

Death Race 2000

Demons

Deranged

Devil Rides Out, The

Devil's Backbone, The

District 9

Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The

Django

Dodes'ka-den

Dog Day Afternoon

Don't Look Now

Double Indemnity

Downfall

Drag Me to Hell

Earth vs The Flying Saucers

El Topo

Elephant Man

Elevator to the Gallows

Erik the Viking

Even Dwarfs Started Small

Exorcist, The

Eyes Wide Shut

Fanboys

Fantastic Planet

Farhenheit 451

Faust

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion

Female Yakuza Tale

Fountain, The

Foxy Brown

Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed

Freaks

Frenzy

Friday the 13th

Gate of Flesh

Get Carter

Ghost in the Shell

Ghost Ship

Girl Who Knew Too Much, The

Great Escape, The

Great Silence, The

Halloween

Hangover Square

Hangover,The

Harakiri

Hard-Boiled

Haunting, The

Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages

Hidden Fortress

Horrors of Malformed Men, The

Hour of the Wolf

House of Bamboo

House of Wax, The

House on the Edge of the Park

I Love You, Man

I Walked with a Zombie

Ikiru

In a Glass Cage

Inglourious Basterds

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Invisible Man, The

It Came From Beneath the Sea

It Came from Outer Space

Jacob's Ladder

Jason and the Argonauts

Jesus Camp

Jigoku

Kagemusha

Kibakichi

Killer, The

Killing Fields, The

Killing of a Chinese Bookie, The

Killing, The

King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, The

Kiss of Death

Kuroneko

Kwaidan

La Dolce Vita

Lady in White

Lair of the White Worm

Laura

Le Cercle Rouge

Le Samourai

Legend of 7 Golden Vampires, The

Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural

Leopard Man, The

Les Diaboliques

Let the Right One In

Little Murders

Lives of Others, The

Lolita

Lookout, The

Lost Highway, The

Love and Death

M

Mad Love

Maltese Falcon

Man Who Laughs, The

Man with the Movie Camera

Marathon Man

Marebito

Marnie

Masque of Red Death, The

Master of the Flying Guillotine

Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People

Mechanic, The

Metropolis

Midnight Express

Mulholland Drive

Naked Kiss, The

Naked Lunch

Network

Newsies

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Night of the Creeps

Night of the Demons

Night of the Hunter

North by Northwest

Observe and Report

Once Upon a Time in America

Onibaba

Paris, Je T'aime

Persona

Pieces

Pineapple Express

Pit and the Pendulum, The

Point Blank

Poltergeist

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

Premature Burial

Prince of Darkness

Psycho

Quartermass and the Pit

Ran

Rashomon

Repo Man

Return of the Evil Dead

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Rio Bravo

Robinson Crusoe on Mars

Rock 'n' Roll High School

Role Models

Sabata

Sanjuro

School of the Holy Beast

Seconds

Sentinel, The

Shadow of a Doubt

Shock Waves

Sister Street Fighter

Sleeper

Slumdog Millionaire

Society

Solaris

Spartacus

Stalker

Star Trek

Step Brothers

Stranger, The

Straw Dogs

Stray Cat Rock: Sex Hunter

Street Fighter, The

Stroszek

Sunset Boulveard

Super High Me

Switchblade Sisters

Sword of Doom

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

Sympathy for the Underdog

Take the Money and Run

Talk Radio

Tarantula

Testuo: The Iron Man

Them!

Throne of Blood

Through a Glass Darkly

Tingler, The

Touch of Evil

Trick 'r Treat

True Romance

Two-Lane Blacktop

Typewriter, the Rifle, and the Movie Camera, The

Uninvited, The

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders

Valley of Gwangi, The

Vampyr

Vampyres aka Daughters of Dracula

Vanishing Point

Virgin Spring, The

Warriors, The

Watchmen

Waxwork

White Zombie

Wild Bunch, The

Wild Strawberries

Wizard of Gore

Wolf Man, The

Wrestler, The

Yojimbo

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zombie Holocaust

Zombieland